Wonders of a Wanderer

Upon meeting someone for the first time, I often get asked "Where are you from?"

Most recipients of that question would not struggle with finding an answer, even in a place like Israel where immigration from all over the world is quite prominent.

(A side thought that just sprung to mind is that the Hebrew word "Aliya" is used when referring to someone who immigrated to Israel - which literally means to "go up". I wonder if there are any other countries in the world who "go up" when emigrating from their home to live in a foreign, new, country).

Anyway, I digress, back to my original point.

So, you know that little emoji, the one where he (is an emoji a he?) is holding his chin in thought (🤔)? Well that emoji depicts my general feeling when I am asked that question.

The question is subsequently followed by my standard "Na Va'Nad" response.

This phrase "Na Va'Nad" was first used by God when He cursed Cain for killing his brother Abel (Genesis 4:12). He told Cain that he will be "Na Va'Nad" - a wanderer - in the land, meaning that there will be no place he will call home.

Now ask yourself this, after 30 years of wandering, of being Na Va'Nad, had Cain been presented with our question (Where are you from?), how would he answer?

Would it be with the place that he was born and where he ultimately killed his brother? Would it be the most recent place that he visited? How about the place where he lived the longest?

I think he would give our little thinking emoji face and say "Well, I'm actually Na Va'Nad".

So, how does this whole backstory relate to me, and more importantly, how does it relate to ones identity?

In order to answer this, I will need to give you a little bit of my life story. It might come across as a bit long winded but bear with me (like what I did there - "bear with me" the "bear necessities" - anyhoo, moving right along).

Right, so here goes - I was born in West London, and aged 5 (?) moved to North London to live with my grandma. Spend a year or so there and at the young age of 6-7 I move to our "permanent" residence in North London. That was short lived because aged 10 we moved to Israel to an absorption center. Aged 11.5 we moved to an apartment not far away from the absorption center, aged 13.5 moved to another smaller apartment (due to financial limitations we had to paint and fix up the apartment ourselves - but that's a story for another time) at the ripe age of 16.5 my parents leave Israel and I move to live in my aunt basement, not far from our 'fixed up' apartment. When I reach age 17 my aunt can no longer accommodate me (again, a story for another time) so I move into the dorms of a boarding school and live on some Student Instructors couch in a tiny room. He eventually leaves the school after buying a house which has a spare room (this will soon become relevant to me) and meanwhile I squat in another room in the dorms praying that no one notices me. I guess I kind of learnt to become invisible - which funnily enough reminds me of Will from Phillip Pullmans book 'The Subtle Knife'.

The boarding school eventually get wind that there is some kid squatting in their dorms and "politely" request for me to leave.

To the detriment of the Student Instructors wife, and at the mature age of 17.5, I move to their spare room that I mentioned above which eventually ends in disaster - the disaster is something I will never disclose - however, this disaster forces my hand so at the age of 18.5/19 I move to West London to live with my parents.

Needless to say, the move was short-lived and by the age of 19 or so, I end up spending three years living in Leeds University and working summers, whilst doing exam retakes, to pay my way through university.

Post university I move back to Israel for about ten months and during my time there ended up living in sub-standard dorms in an old area of Jerusalem. After my ten months in Israel, aged 24, I move back to West London, meet my incredible wife and by the age of 28 I am newly married, have just moved back to Israel and am living in the upcoming city of Modiin. I spend ten years in Modiin and move once again (hopefully for the last time) to a little village, aged 41, in South Israel.

So now, let me ask you this, where am I from?

The question is a lot more complex than the questioner probably realises. It's a question of identity (and no, I'm not referring to all the him/his/her/they/them/thee/thou/thoo/this or any other convoluted way of describing one's identity). It's a question of understanding at what location have I most felt at home or at what location have I most been able to connect to the person I deem myself to be.

We can even take it further, if someone was born in South Africa but at the age of 2 weeks old they moved to America and live there for 40 years, are they from America or from South Africa? If that individual then moved to another country and is asked our question, what will their response be? For the most part, I imagine they'll not hesitate and say that they are from America. Their response might even be something along the lines of "well, I was born in South Africa but I'm from America". The reason for this is simple and obvious even to the weakest of minds. America would be the place that they most connected to as their home, they never knew anything else, their identity was created there. The person that they are at the point of being asked our question (see my previous post on The Hidden Three People) is defined by the place that they most feel connected to.

However, in my case, the answer would be completely different. My answer may also be dependent on the person that is asking the question.

For example, if an Israeli asks me, I might say that I am from London whereas if a Brit asks, they might get a response that I'm from Israel.

Now, taking into consideration the three above points, (1) ones connection to their "from" and (2) the person in front of you who is asking the question and finally (3) where you are physically from (obviously there may be more factors which could determine how one could potentially answer this question), how does one know which is the correct point to focus on when attempting to answer the question? Since if we try to factor all three points in at once we will probably come up with some kind of amalgamated nonsensical answer - maybe an answer like: "Na Va'Nad"?

However, if we take each points (2 and 3) separately the answer comes quite easily. Point (2) is addressed above here and solely considers the person in front of you whilst point (3) is a most likely a mere factor of where you currently are or where you were before your current place residence.

Its the first point that causes the most problems. Our connection. This is what complicates what seemingly is a very simple question.

Suddenly "Where are you from?" can become anything from "where did you last feel most at home" or "where you were born" to "what place in your life did you most connect with and most feel yourself". Without realizing, it becomes a question that relates to your identity, to your being.

Allow me to illustrate this a little further. When someone asks me this question, I often ask myself, "am I Israeli or English?". This happens time after time, whilst the answer to that question can even be based on my mood at that given moment.

You can be certain that this simple question has the power to make me feel extremely uncomfortable for no other reason than the mere fact that I don't actually know the answer.

At the time of writing this, I still don't have an answer to the question, but what I do have is the ability to self-reflect and the desire to connect to my inner being and find the answer to "where am I from" which, I believe, may lead to me having a deeper understanding of "Who am I?" as I am sure now that these two question go hand in hand - at least in some form or another.

As Socrates (supposedly) said: "The unexamined life is not worth living"

So with all that said and done, if I were to ask you where am I from how would you answer? but more importantly, where are you from?